Proud to know an AGP male who's refusing to buy the lies that lead to self loathing and despair. Keep sharing your insights and your journey! Other AGP males and the people who love them need to l feel visible and validated. ❤️
First, can you explain or link to a defense of AGP as a legitimate category of transexuals? Given that the term was established by a sexology researcher in the 90's who believed other blatantly false things (such as women don't have paraphilias) I'm not willing to assume it as a framing a priori
Second, I'm someone who others might describe as AGP, transition has been great for me!
Third, whilst it's impossible to say what the base rates are, this post is indistinguishable from things other people who are now trans women said before they transitioned, and who are now much happier as a result. Given uncertainty about base rates, why should I believe you're correct about this?
Fourth, have you ever tried exploring feminine presentations? I know a number of people who felt like this until they actually tried to do something about it.
I hope this doesn't come off as hostile, I think that being correct about this is important. If your claims are correct, that matters a lot, if your claims are wrong, that matters a lot.
1: I don't really care to. I gave my definition of AGP at the top, and transness doesn't factor into it. I don't particularly care about what a sexology researcher said, I'm just describing me (and those similar enough to me to recognize themselves). I'm using the term "AGP" cuz it mostly fits and is descriptive. When I first found out there was a term for this I was blown away because it didn't occur to me that there were men who *weren't* like this.
2: Huzzah!! I am genuinely happy for you. :) I'm glad some of us can make it with the tech at hand!
3: I'm relaying my experience, and also saying I'm not unique. I haven't done science to this, I don't know what the base rates are either. I think it's important to point out that transing isn't the only option. Some people legit are told that it is, and no one has said to them that it can get better as you get older, so maybe consider that as well.
4. Very briefly. Turns out I don't care about "presenting" as feminine. What I want is to have a female body. These are very different, and the latter isn't available to me. This fourth point of yours is actually a pretty good example of the kind of thing that happens to me which I wrote about in a recent blog post about people pushing transition.
My claim that it does get better for at least some people is trivially true, because I'm standing here. How much that matters depends on a lot of other things though. Thank you for not being hostile. It does touch on some deep emotions in me, I will do my best to not be hostile as well. :)
Great and inspiring post. I have a couple bits of (hopefully) constructive criticism though.
> Instead you’re gross and scary and just your presence somewhere degrades the quality of life & experience for others in the area.
I know you’re working on overcoming this attitude in your own life and I have a suggestion that I hope helps. Caveat every thought you have and line you write with something like “the lie that…” It’s an un-truth and shaking it requires active effort.
> Yeah, fine, you won’t ever be a sexy woman having sexy sex with other sexy women.
Second thing is never say never! I’m in a possible glorious transhuman future we’ll all get to have all the sexy sex we want. :)
"You get a few distinguished lines in your face, some silver in your hair, and women just start to get interested. It’s insane."
As someone with "distinguished" (or at least distinct) lines and some silver in my hair, I can say: This is not true unless you're talking in both cases about /women who are the same age as you/. I don't want young guys misled into believing that many beautiful young women will find them attractive when they're 50. George Clooney, yes. You, no.
I mean, women generally want to date a few years up as it is. A decade younger is uncommon, but doable if you put in the effort. More than that is hard, yeah, but 10 years is a fair bit as it is!
Proud to know an AGP male who's refusing to buy the lies that lead to self loathing and despair. Keep sharing your insights and your journey! Other AGP males and the people who love them need to l feel visible and validated. ❤️
The intro, up until the first section heading, makes me want to cry and cry and cry. It's too real. It feels like the mirror scene from this article:
https://medium.com/@jencoates/i-am-a-transwoman-i-am-in-the-closet-i-am-not-coming-out-4c2dd1907e42
Couple of things
First, can you explain or link to a defense of AGP as a legitimate category of transexuals? Given that the term was established by a sexology researcher in the 90's who believed other blatantly false things (such as women don't have paraphilias) I'm not willing to assume it as a framing a priori
Second, I'm someone who others might describe as AGP, transition has been great for me!
Third, whilst it's impossible to say what the base rates are, this post is indistinguishable from things other people who are now trans women said before they transitioned, and who are now much happier as a result. Given uncertainty about base rates, why should I believe you're correct about this?
Fourth, have you ever tried exploring feminine presentations? I know a number of people who felt like this until they actually tried to do something about it.
I hope this doesn't come off as hostile, I think that being correct about this is important. If your claims are correct, that matters a lot, if your claims are wrong, that matters a lot.
1: I don't really care to. I gave my definition of AGP at the top, and transness doesn't factor into it. I don't particularly care about what a sexology researcher said, I'm just describing me (and those similar enough to me to recognize themselves). I'm using the term "AGP" cuz it mostly fits and is descriptive. When I first found out there was a term for this I was blown away because it didn't occur to me that there were men who *weren't* like this.
2: Huzzah!! I am genuinely happy for you. :) I'm glad some of us can make it with the tech at hand!
3: I'm relaying my experience, and also saying I'm not unique. I haven't done science to this, I don't know what the base rates are either. I think it's important to point out that transing isn't the only option. Some people legit are told that it is, and no one has said to them that it can get better as you get older, so maybe consider that as well.
4. Very briefly. Turns out I don't care about "presenting" as feminine. What I want is to have a female body. These are very different, and the latter isn't available to me. This fourth point of yours is actually a pretty good example of the kind of thing that happens to me which I wrote about in a recent blog post about people pushing transition.
My claim that it does get better for at least some people is trivially true, because I'm standing here. How much that matters depends on a lot of other things though. Thank you for not being hostile. It does touch on some deep emotions in me, I will do my best to not be hostile as well. :)
Great and inspiring post. I have a couple bits of (hopefully) constructive criticism though.
> Instead you’re gross and scary and just your presence somewhere degrades the quality of life & experience for others in the area.
I know you’re working on overcoming this attitude in your own life and I have a suggestion that I hope helps. Caveat every thought you have and line you write with something like “the lie that…” It’s an un-truth and shaking it requires active effort.
> Yeah, fine, you won’t ever be a sexy woman having sexy sex with other sexy women.
Second thing is never say never! I’m in a possible glorious transhuman future we’ll all get to have all the sexy sex we want. :)
Darn good points on both counts :)
"You get a few distinguished lines in your face, some silver in your hair, and women just start to get interested. It’s insane."
As someone with "distinguished" (or at least distinct) lines and some silver in my hair, I can say: This is not true unless you're talking in both cases about /women who are the same age as you/. I don't want young guys misled into believing that many beautiful young women will find them attractive when they're 50. George Clooney, yes. You, no.
I mean, women generally want to date a few years up as it is. A decade younger is uncommon, but doable if you put in the effort. More than that is hard, yeah, but 10 years is a fair bit as it is!
Excellent and heart-warming!
I was confused by "No one tells you that men peak in attractiveness much later in life" though.
Well, they didn't in blue America in the 90s. (Or if they did, they were hiding it from me specifically. Buncha jerks!)