OMG porn! Everyone panic!
So I guess right now Britain is having a moral panic about online porn. Here is just one recent article documenting this generation-destroying menace. It’s another great example of wide-eyed parents jumping all over the chance to believe anything outrageous because indignation feels sooooo good. It’s almost as stupid as the Rainbow Parties “phenomenon”. (Seriously… ‘nuggets’? How intentionally gullible do you have to be?) And as always, it can be refuted with a simple statistic:
100%
That’s how many men watch porn. All of them. So for every guy that can’t even hold down a job because he’s addicted to online porn, these documentaries conveniently skip over the dozens-to-hundreds of men that are MAKING THAT VERY DOCUMENTARY who have jobs, friends, and normal lives. Plus the almost-every-other-male-in-the-country demographic. If your kid grows up to be like the one guy who can’t function rather than the everyone-else who can, it’s not the porn that’s the problem.
There’s also a huge difference in the types of sex that 12-year-olds are having and the types of sex that 30-year-olds are having. 30-year-olds have actual sex, whereas 12-year-olds have imaginary sex. The difference between these types of sex cannot be overstated. Whatever the effects porn has on imaginary sex, it has much less impact on actual sex. In fact, the impact porn has on real-life sex is approximately the same as the impact Hollywood violence/romance/life has on real violence/romance/life – it makes them seem kinda lame by comparison.
Porn isn’t some magic mind-control drug. Porn is what every guy in the world saw in his mind when he fantasized between the ages of 12 and… forever. It is simply that fantasy acted out on a stage, recorded, and served back to you. The same way Hollywood violence is what people fantasize THEIR violence would be like if they were bad-ass, the same way Hollywood romance is what girls fantasize THEIR romantic encounters would be like ideally, the same way Hollywood life is what people wish THEIR real lives were like, if they were rich and talented and courageous and lucky. Long before film was invented porn already existed, it just existed in the mind and couldn't be shared as easily.
And then people have real sex and it turns out that just like every other fantasy - it’s nothing like the fantasy. And they adjust and are disappointed and learn and grow and move on. Everyone has to learn that life isn’t like fantasy the hard way – that’s what maturing is. Maybe some people lash out at porn/Hollywood/Disney and scream in rage about how distorted fantasy is, how real life doesn't meet their expectations, and that fantasy should be banned because it warps the minds of impressionable young children. Those people are idiots. The fantasies already existed. Moreover, it’s entirely possible to enjoy fantasies as fantasy once you realize real life doesn't work like that.
If they’re that upset about it, perhaps they should use all that energy to try to make their lives more like their fantasies. It’s hard work, which admittedly was never part of the fantasy! But it’s worth it. If it turns out you don’t like the fantasy as much as you thought you would that’s ok… don’t pursue it. But for fuck’s sake, stop freaking out about your kids having sex fantasies. It’s what people do, and kids are people.