Get You A Woman That Likes Men

This is going to sound like the most bizarre advice imaginable… I feel weird just thinking about giving it… but it seems so simultaneously obvious and ridiculous that I don’t know how to approach it aside from just saying it outright.

Straight guys - get you a woman that likes men.

Not one that likes you specifically. Not one that likes some of the things men do. Not one that likes sex with men. A woman that actually likes men in a wholly general sense. Someone who has somehow avoided absorbing the generalized disdain and animus towards the male sex that is the background radiation of our culture.

As a first-line heuristic, if the woman you are thinking of dating hasn’t (or wouldn’t) say with complete seriousness and unironic enthusiasm that Men Are Good, then she doesn’t like men.

The first time I heard a woman honestly, unironically, and without caveat just straight up say publicly “Men Are Good” I kinda lost my breath. That is just not said. It felt like secular sacrilege, like some actually important taboo had just been shattered. I knew intellectually that there was nothing wrong with the statement, and I felt shame for feeling that these were forbidden words because that’s obviously sexist. But emotionally it was shocking.

It had never occurred to me to date someone that legitimately liked men, that was enchanted and excited by them, that felt they are an asset to the world and good to have nearby. It simply wasn’t in my model of the world that such women exist. I wasn’t looking for someone like that any more than I was looking for pink leprechauns. Or invisible light that just passes through flesh.

I’m dating one such woman now. It’s a disorienting experience. All my life I’ve simply understood that my presence is unwanted by default. Men are violently dangerous and unpleasant to be around. As a man you need to bring something of value to justify your presence, and you need to always take steps to reassure others that you are One Of The Good Ones. Except… not with this woman. She doesn’t just like me because I’ve proven myself. She default likes men in general. My presence is welcome just because I’m a male and she’s really into men. All that male stuff is considered an awesome bonus, not a handicap to overcome.

It feels like insanity.

I realize this is not very actionable advice. One needs to hit the trifecta of someone who:

1. Likes humans in general. Someone that believes humanity is great, that the default person is a net-positive value to the world around them, and that we all deserve to prosper. You can’t like a subset of humans (men) if you don’t like humans in general!

2. Likes men specifically. See above for more details on that.

3. Has the strength of personality needed to be disagreeable to broader society on that specific point, denying the social consensus.

And, of course, on top of all that she needs to like me personally too. Which, lemme tell ya, ain’t as easy as I sometimes like to pretend.

But boy howdy… the change in life experience around someone like this is massive. I’m still struggling to adjust. I’m not sure how much I can trust it.

It’s going from spending your life on precarious footing to suddenly standing on solid ground. Why is the ground not moving and rolling? Why am I not needing to constantly shift my balance and stay alert? When is it going to start moving again?

It’s an indescribable relief when I believe it (which is more and more now). It’s not easy to find, it took me over 4 decades of life to stumble onto this new land. But now I know it’s here. And I think it’s worth telling others that it exists. It may be a lot of work, but it really seems to be worth the effort of finding it.

So guys, if at all possible… get you a woman that likes men. It’s an industrial revolution for your soul.