Date Elves

Obviously you want to date elves. They come from a more noble and pure time. They’ve seen things we can only imagine. They know the lore beneath the skin of the world.

They have a depth of wisdom that lets them accept us humanfolk with grace. They’ve seen all the ways we fuck up and know when to shrug it off because it’s nothing and when to eject us from the forests because they don’t need to be around us burning things down as we figure our shit out. This is really valuable in a relationship. The ability to screw up a lot and it’s not a big deal because the elves know nothing seriously bad will come of it is insanely liberating.

When you accidentally DO burn down a gate and show the orcs the way into the forest, the elves know what to do about this because they’ve seen it (or something like it) before. You will work to fix it, but it will be work with a purpose.

The level of maturity and emotional security you find in the elf-lands is legitimately stunning. Makes one wonder why one would go back to the human-lands after having found this.

Elves don’t particularly need you. They have a LOT of wealth and power. Their forest fortresses are very secure and quite comfy. It’s nice to be in such secure places. They’re happy to share that fortress with a human they fancy.

You get access to deep time, wisdom and grace, and frankly a lot of accumulated wealth of both the spiritual and material types. And if that’s not enough, they’ll adore you in their elven way. They’ll find you charming and interesting and exciting. Humans may be wild and downright alarming, but that can be a draw. Being the subject of an elf’s desire can be breathtaking.

So yes, you want to date elves. I have good news! The world is full of elves.

Obviously not every older woman is an elf. Many of them never developed an ounce of interest in the world, or developed emotional maturity, or crafted a stable life. But plenty of them did, and they are far deeper and richer in spirit than you’re ready for. You can find them, especially if you are among the higher-tier humanfolk. And you try.

The one possible note of dissonance many of you may feel right now is that the elves of fantasy are ageless, forever with the bodies of someone in their 20s. You protest that IRL elves don’t have this feature and its unfair for me to conflate the two when that’s actually a pretty big deal.

First, you will be surprised just how well people age in the modern day. Especially if they put effort into staying healthy. Especially if they are smart, conscientious, make good life choices, and have some resources.

Second, it doesn’t matter that much. Yeah, there’s definitely aging. The sex is still fantastic. You’ll quickly find out that when you’re secure and adored you don’t need to be eye-blasted with 20yr old yoga-bod to get it up.

Third, elves generally understand that humans are going to go frolicking among other humans as well. They aren’t looking to lock you up in their forest fortress. You can (and will, if you want) still go date & hook up with younger women.

And the crazy elf magic that happens is that over time you’ll start to realize that dating elves is just so much better than dating humans that you’ll do less and less of the latter. You don’t ever fully stop going back to the human lands (I think?), but the more it becomes clear that the elven forests are this fantastically great, the less you’ll feel an impulse to leave them. A somewhat younger body pales in comparison to the glowing beauty of everything an elf relationship has.

And hey, maybe it’s not for you. But I think there’s a lot of alpha being left on the table by younger human males who don’t even realize there are elves walking amongst us. You won’t know until you try.